Hey guys, it’s me, Nathaniel, and I’m here to sell you your first ever hand washed apricot scented pre-owned dream car! Ignore that last sentence! Ignore every blasted word of it! Pay attention to the next one, however! Why can’t I stop shouting?! Wait, that’s not the important sentence. Whoo, let me calm down. Okay… The reason the royal we are so excited on this side of tomorrow is that this Saturday July 13th at German Bar, those sub humans of suede, the kings of inconsequential half-truths and stirring non sequiturs, those lords of the slacks, the one, the 4 piece Brown Lazers will be playing… MUSIC!
Their last show caused entire populations to enter a panic for fear that the end times were not only nigh but that they had come, gone, left some money on the dresser, called 3 days letter, then returned with even greater strife than before! Known across the land as the only band loud enough to get the night clubs to call in the cops on a noise complaint, these guys are ready to tear your faces off and replace them with faces more worthy of their conflagration of rock, punk, and soul shattering dance numbers in the hopes that if you were thinking about sitting you would genuinely consider perhaps joining in the festivities and perhaps shaking your groove thing if that’s alright. Not in the mood? Oh, okay, we understand. We’re not trying to impose or anything. Who am I kidding, if you can sit through a whole set of the Brown Lazers, you must be as bland and unfeeling as cold rice cakes on Christmas morning.
If you’ve seen these wild and crazy guys before, you know you have no idea what to expect except an amazing show. With covers from Against Me, Weezer, Rancid, and a musical spectrum that would make a vinyl collecting, sweater ripping, tattoo coated crazy person swoon, you will understand what love feels like deep inside your ear drums. These idiot men-children are not all looks and brains however, with original tunes encompassing the despondency of perfection and the love of a Marxist nursemaid, good times will be mandated for all. They’ve been working hard to prepare their rock and roll byproducts for your philosophy space so ready your utterances and spread your love for the Brown Lazers. If you don’t know how to find German Bar, ask someone!
This show is free and has a special guest so get your dance deprived backsides downtown Saturday July 13th to feel the passion and depth of the Brown Lazers! The show starts around 10ish as things go so come along and taste the fame, campers. Criminals and victims alike have eaten their own teeth in anticipation of lesser performers so bringing the funk for these guys shouldn’t even be work. They aren’t even asking for blood! So just to be clear, that’s this Saturday July 13th at German Bar downtown next to Wedding Street where, sometime around 10:00 pm, the Brown Lazers and special guest will be putting on a live music recital for their parents and classmates. In the immortal words of the greatest musician on the planet: rock and roll.